Tuesday, February 28, 2006
woah, janie i never knew you had such a deep thought towards what love is and how much it means and your perspective towards it.
i gottta say i pretty much agree to the statement you made about love, no doubt 100%.
its true, falling in love is easy probably to some people but yet to get yourself out of it is a difficult situation. but on another note, being
in love alone is also diffcult. once trouble structs the relationship, this is when all the worries and demands starts to hit you. and the longer you leave it luring around the more it will hurt in the end, the more you think and not resolve what your thinking about the chances of being heartbroken. and believe me, ive been a victim of love and still am.
anything brings you happiness, but it also has a downside towards it.
and love is one of the things that will bring you the bestest joy and happiness in love, but when it all falls apart? it feels like your world come crumbling and crushing down on you, all at once. and it that moment of it happening you just want to pick up and leave. go somewhere and never come back, i have to admit ive thought of solving my problems and resolute myself to that solution before. its not one of the best solutions in the world, but thats the state of mind love can put you in.
i can clearly admit, love is one of the greatest thing that can happen to you, yet it can also be deadly and posionous. i would say, stay away from love for those who havent experienced it. but to come to a conclusion
about love, it's better to be in love and loved then never be loved at all.
enough about the love thing, moving on my day was okay wasn't so great and wasn't so bad. towards the afternoon, the mood swing started to hit me, been thinking lately i dont know if its the mood swings thats causing me to be pissed/sad/emotional .. etc.
or maybe? am i just blaming my womanly cycle?, or maybe, MAYBE there is something on my mind that i havent found out yet? or that i just want to say it out nor share it with anyone.
seems like lately ive found it hard to talk to
anyone about the problems i have. it's too hard for me to be the open person i once was, yet again i think i've lost myself in my own puddle of mess. and this time it isn't going to be so easy to get myself out.
waking up every morning with something on your mind, going to bed thinking, at schooling trying your hardest to learn but theres that thought about something lurking in your head. im on the verge of going nuts.
this is the time i want to pick up and leave, it tears me apart that whatever i try to do,work or work on it never seems to work no matter the amount of effort i put into it.
the only thing im looking forward in life at the moment? , actually there is nothing that im looking forward in life anymore. ive had my share of my dreams being shattered in front of me, im moving onto giving up and letting go. if im not made for it i wont do it nor will i try, ive had enough of trying so hard yet gettting the same result even if i do put all the amount of my time, effort and all trying.
mathematics is one of my major concerns this year in senior school, its not my best subject and i
used to believe that in trying my best that i will get to where i want to be. but ive learnt trying your best just doesnt cut it. my lesson ive learnt in life now is, try when you want to dont force yourself. i guess for the past 2 years ive pushed myself with my diffculties too much and that all result to my worries and concerns. i cant afford to have any worries nor concerns at this stage.
with the mess im in with my life , its not so great. maybe this is whats causing the moods lately?, who knows. but having to sometimes fake a smile and laugh is beginning to get difficult.
this is a pretty long blog, enough for now.
loves, melinda myanh nguyen.
once loved.
4:42 PM
